I think I missed my exit
It’s hard to believe that the last time I submitted an original post was probably during finals week many months ago. Oh, how I long for the nights where I was on the verge of tears desperately hoping that some chemist would brew a Adderall-Xanax cocktail — preferably one that didn’t induce cardiac arrest… and of course FDA approved. But from what I’ve heard (and not heard) that hasn’t quiet happened yet. Which seems odd considering all of our medical advancements. (Notice that my previous sentence is 68% sarcasm). Anyhoo, on this lovely Tuesday night I sit here listening to my Beethoven collection wondering how my bedroom turned into a clusterfuck nightmare after I spent hours tweaker cleaning. Oh, the problems of a post-graduate. So mundane, yet so enlightening. The bright side of my little detour from reality is that my existential crises are minimal. Instead, I go straight into panic attacks. Life doesn’t fuck around man. See when I was in school, it was so easy to fantasize about the teachings of Nietzsche without spiraling too far off the deep end. Now, I won’t dare touch my philosophy books in fear that I might book a one-way ticket to outer space. Back then (<—- as if it was that long ago…) I could easily ease my existential pain with some Pinot, episodes of Friends, and a shopping spree at my campus bookstore. Now, I don’t think I have the medical resources to help curb my anxiety. In conclusion.. wait. I have no idea where I was going with this.
But what a great opportunity to transition into a familiar topic that rattles everyone’s boots… feminism. Ohhhhh, how the “F” word has become some memory of that one movement… right? Wrong. Not quite sure if this is the night where I shall dive into my grand thesis because
1) It’s quite extensive
2) You’ll probably get bored
3) It’s personal
4) I haven’t quite written my thesis, but I am certain that it will be both extensive and personal.
Overall, I am getting older. Sometimes I feel old, especially when I look back on my 19 year old self. But hey my boobs haven’t completely hit the ground yet so why complain?
xoxo - gossip girl
